It’s easy to assume whatever we are feeling; sadness, anger, or excitement is the foundation of a truth. But, it’s not.
Emotions reinforce what we believe to be true. The problem with this is that its all subjective and dependent on that individuals perspective. Sometimes we trick ourselves into believing something thats just not based in reality. This past week I found myself irrationally anger. I was angry at random people, strangers because I percevied them as judging or critical of me, and without any evidence to support this I became insecure. I criticize myself and am a perfectionist, so it’s likely I’m projecting when I do this.. by judging them and putting them in a box (who they are to me in this moment). It’s easier really to have someone “figured out”. It’s human. We all need to assess the environment and we do this by taking in nonverbal information. It gets screwy though when your inner dialogue and “coding” is fucked up. The annoying thing about all of this is that I knew intellectually exactly what I was doing and why I was feeling the way I was. This feeling of perceived rejection from strangers turns into a truth because our emotions are so much more real than our rational higher self. The emotion that comes over me is resentment and anger. Not a good character trait by any means. So I try to “fix” this by distancing myself from the emotion by thinking of the situation or thought logically.
I have a checklist. Why do you feel like this? Is it rational to believe this idea; that this person is critcizing you or thinking badly about you? Because the more plausible idea is that you arent even on their radar because the truth is they arent even thinking about you. They are thinking about what homework they have to get done, what happened yesterday with so and so, or what they have planned for the day. A quote comes to mind when I’m in this thought spiral. “You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.”- David Foster Wallace. But, when this logical nativating of the thoughts doesnt work and the emotion is too hard to ignore, what do you do? I’m trying to figure this out. It’s hard. How does someone detach themselves from their emotions. Thoughts turn into emotion and emotion causes behavior. It all happens so quickly and it’s nearly impossible to stop a thought from entering your orbit. I guess the only real way to stop the cycle is to change the phrasing of your thought… It’s just hard to when you so deeply at an unconsious level believe the emotion thats taken over.
Anyways, just some things to think about.
“As the story goes, George Clinton, the leader of Funkadelic, told guitarist Eddie Hazel to imagine he was told his mother died and later on learned it was not true, this all under the influence of LSD. Once Clinton realized how powerful the solo sounded he faded the bass played by Billy Bass Nelson and drums played by Tiki Fulwood out.”